


Robin Rankaku

by vavvoom



Category: Utena
Genre: Angst, Drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2004-05-25
Updated: 2004-05-25
Packaged: 2013-07-27 20:06:40
Rating: T
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,487
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1878040/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/183454/vavvoom
Summary: A strange girl arrives in Ohtori. She's actually come to live the last year of her life in peace, but she may find this new school to be more than she bargained for. My attempt at an anti-Marysue fic. Rated high for possible bloody descriptions and sexu





	1. Chapter 1: Black and White

EDIT: As Ming pointed out, technically white is the presence of ALL colors, and black is the absence. To make a long story short, when you see a "white" object, the object is absorbing all the light and so none of it bounces back to your eye. "Black" objects reflect all the light back to your eye and so you see all the colors.  
  
However, Robin talks about colors from an artistic point of view rather than a scientific one.   
  
Chapter 1: Black and White  
  
It wasn't exactly what most people would call a beautiful day. But personally, I think the weather was just perfect. Cold drizzly days are so. . .cozy, somehow. The sky seems to sink almost low enough to reach, and everything glistens with the rain. I smiled slightly as the light raindrops caressed my face. This wasn't the first time I had moved away... things became pretty much unbearable two years ago, and I've been constantly on the run ever since. But the time was slipping through my fingers like sand, and in fact it was probably the last time I would ever move. But I wasn't really afraid. . .No, in fact, sometimes I longed for what was coming. But I knew one thing for sure: I had to make use of what little time I had left.  
  
The scent of cool rain relaxed me as I stepped up the cement stairs toward my new school and home. Step by step, the building came into my view as I cleared the stairs. The academy was surrounded by a fine silver mist, nearby a tall (and somewhat phallic) tower climbed into the dark sky. It made me wonder about the architect, and even more about the administrator. Further in the background, I saw a dark foggy hill, which was difficult to make out on account of the thundercloud hovering above it. A forest, perhaps?  
  
When I arrived at the main office, the door was locked. I expected as much, seeing as I had arrived around three in the morning. The school building, however, was open, so I decided to pass my time taking a little tour. I must have walked down every hallway in the place, but the only rooms that seemed of any interest to me were a small music room containing a piano, and a large gymnasium. The gym seemed to be dedicated to karate or some other contact sport, judging by the mats placed all over the floor. The school seemed all right, overall. But of course, that was before I met any of the students. . .  
  
Satisfied with my long self-guided tour of the grounds, I wandered outside to a grassy area nearby a small pond and laid down underneath one of the trees. Most people might find it silly, but I actually prefer sleeping outdoors under the stars than in a warm bed. It feels more suitable to me, more proper, somehow. More so now than two years ago.  
  
Then again, maybe I just feel that way because since then I've mostly been cooped up in white, starchy, perfectly sterile rooms. It does make quite an impression on you, I'll admit. Many people think of white as a pure, innocent, beautiful color. But to me that couldn't be further from the truth. White is a color of fake-ness, of hurt and deceit. When you're in extreme pain, all you can see is white. White is easily stained and corrupted, it's the weakest color there is. In fact...it's not even a color! It's the absence of color. . .it's totally soul-less and empty. Black is so much calmer and soothing than white. Black is so dark, it's untaintable......no color can cover it up. Black hides you when you need to hide, it covers you and doesn't hurt your eyes. Black is the union of all colors. Black is the hue of slumber. . .and endless sleep. It was somewhere along those thoughts that my eyelids drooped and I lost consciousness under the shade of the tree, as the sun's golden beams began to peek over the roof of the academy. 


	2. Chapter 2: Reality

Man, these chapters are so short! I guess it's because I don't have much time to work on each one. I hope the story isn't moving too slowly for you. ;  
  
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Chapter 2 : Reality  
  
I had a nightmare. It was the same one that I always have, the same terror, the same hopelessness. . . the dreams are just abstract ghosts of my memory, but in them I already know what is going to happen. I'm not really myself...I'm somebody watching nearby, screaming to myself, the me in front of me, to see what is about to happen, to run, to do something. . .. But in my nightmares I just stand there, stupefied, deaf to my own desperate pleas. I watched myself crumple in pain, felt the agony of being run through, once, twice, thrice. . .  
  
My eyes flew open and I instinctively jerked my arms up to cover myself. A pair of concerned blue eyes peered down at me. "Sorry for poking you. . .I was afraid you might be late for class." The pink haired girl pointed at her watch. "School starts in 10 minutes." Standing next to her was another girl, dark-skinned and wearing a rather ridiculous school uniform. I stared at her blankly for a moment, struggling to orient myself. This wasn't part of my dream. Sometimes I can't tell if I've woken up or if I'm still asleep...  
  
"You're right, how clueless of me. . .I'm new at this school, and I must have just dozed off here and forgotten the time. Thank you." I replied, sitting up to shake their hands. "My name is Rankaku Robin, 10th grade."  
  
The pink-haired girl introduced herself as Tenjou Utena, and her friend as Himemiya Anthy, both a year younger than I. Looking at them, I never would have guessed that I was older...they were both quite tall and beautiful, even for being only 14. When Tenjou-san stood up I noticed her unique uniform. "That's a boy's uniform, is it not?" I asked tentatively.  
  
Tenjou-san looked slightly ruffled. "I don't know why everybody keeps going on about it. It's definitely not the weirdest thing this school has seen. I mean, I've even known a girl who wore a COWBELL to class!"  
  
"Oh no, I don't mean to say it doesn't suit you! In fact, I like your style very much!" I replied quickly, not eager to make enemies so soon on my first day. "I don't have classes yet, I've got a day to move in first. . .I'm not sure which room I've been assigned to yet. My things will be arriving this afternoon."  
  
Himemiya-san smiled cheerfully. "If you give us a call when your things arrive, maybe we could help you move in!" I doubted it. It wasn't as if I really had that many things to unpack. "Yes, that's a great idea!" I replied with the same fake smile.  
  
Tenjou-san and Himemiya-san excused themselves then, and left for the large school buildings nearby. I watched them go. Tenjou-san was a goodhearted, innocent person. People like her both cheer me up and depress me. It's amazing there are still people like her...but sooner or later, we all die out. I didn't quite know what to think of her friend, Himemiya-san. She seemed fake somehow, but I couldn't quite place it. It wasn't your normal kind of fakeness that so many people emanate, but a sad fakeness. . .as if she didn't want to be that way. Someone was forcing her to wear a mask. Whatever the case was, they made a nice pair. Polar opposites.  
  
I stood up carefully, then made my way to the office to register, and find out where my new home would be. 


	3. Chapter 3: Phobia

Chapter 3: Phobia  
  
The rain had not let up since my arrival, I thought vaguely to myself as I pulled the note out of my pocket again. East halls. . .number 747. Yes, my room should be somewhere nearby. . . My eyes scanned each of the numbers again, and there was my room at the very end of the darkened corridor. The skylights above normally would have let in the sun's rays, but today the clouds blanketed its rays with thick, luxurious puffs of darkness. I reveled once again at the wonderful coziness of this damp, gray day. Honestly, sometimes it's laughable how sadistic I seem. . .  
  
I dug my key out of my pocket and fitted it into the lock on my door. With a sharp click, the latch released and I let myself in. Words fail to express my reaction at that moment. The room. . .was the glorified ideal of chaos. Many floorboards were missing, for a start. The few that remained were rotting away and falling apart. There were huge cobwebs in every corner and I saw a pair of tiny, glinting yellow eyes stare at me from underneath a pile of rags. Rats. . . I blinked a few times to make sure that I wasn't just having another nightmare.  
  
No, the room was still there. I blinked a few more times, then sighed and closed the door in defeat. Maybe they had assigned me the wrong room? Now that I thought about it, the whole building DID seem older than the other dorms. . . and it was odd that I hadn't seen anyone else there yet. Yes, it was probably a mistake, they must have accidentally assigned me to this-. . . My thoughts were interrupted by the muted sound of laughter coming from down the hall. I pricked my ears and followed the noise to another room, a few paces away from mine.  
  
I rapped my knuckles gently on the door and heard footsteps approach rapidly. A familiar face peeked out and smiled in recognition. "Rankaku- san! What a surprise! Please, come in!" exclaimed the pink-haired girl cheerfully. I smiled and nodded silently in thanks as she led me into her room.  
  
Sitting at the table in the center, I recognized Himemiya-san, as well as a tall, dark, and handsome gentleman with a hand on her shoulder. I puzzled over whether they looked more like fiancés or siblings. His presence was both intoxicating and very frightening. His eyes pierced into mine like daggers, probing me, reading me. . .I felt a cold chill run down my spine, a chill which prickled my skin and didn't cease the entire time that I stayed.  
  
Fortunately, Tenjou-san began to introduce us all before I could even mutter a shy greeting.  
  
"Rankaku-san, you've already met Himemiya, my good friend and roommate, and this is her brother, Ohtori Akio. " So, they were siblings after all! How odd. "Akio, this is Rankaku Robin."  
  
"Pleased to meet you." I stammered. "I'm dreadfully sorry for the intrusion! I was just going back to the office to re-check the room they assigned me, and I heard your voices. . .I thought I was all alone in this dorm, you see. . ." In my head I berated myself for blathering like that. I try to be one of few words, if possible. Yet that man. . .! He honestly scared me. . . I was sure that they must all see how much I was trembling. . .  
  
Himemiya-san got up to get me a pillow, and before I could protest I was ushered into my seat by Tenjou-san. I swallowed the knot in my stomach and smiled pleasantly. Sometimes I hate curtsey. I truly do. But if you want to survive, you have to pretend to be nice. . .  
  
"Well, it's true that there aren't many students in this dorm. However, it's the last one available, now that our school has been greatly expanding of late. . .And you need any help around the school, I'm your man." said the smiling beau in a suave, low voice. I noticed his grip tighten on his sister's shoulder. "Onii-sama is the school administrator. . ." she echoed, with the same fake smile I was wearing. Administrator? I felt a wave of pity wash over me. She was scared of him too. His own sister. . . Underneath the table, I wrung my hands.  
  
"Oh, it's nothing, really. I'm sure my Head of Year can sort it out." I replied. "It's just a little problem with my room. . ." I began. "It's. . .looking a bit dilapidated. I think there was a mistake."  
  
Utena nodded in confession. "I was afraid that's why my room would be like when I first came here. . .luckily, Himemiya had fixed it all up first. She's a real lifesaver!" she added with a grateful smile in the other girl's direction. Then, Tenjou-san stood up suddenly. "How rude of me! Here I am talking and talking and I haven't even started making some tea for you!" Himemiya-san held out her hand to stop her, and said she would go fix it instead. Tenjou-san submitted and sat back down.  
  
"I would have insisted that I make it, but to tell you the truth I don't really know how," she admitted sheepishly. "Besides, I'm sure Himemiya's tea is much better than anything I could fix. . ."  
  
Ohtori-sama nodded. "My sister is a girl of many talents. But back to your problem, Rankaku-san. I think I know a place you could stay, at least until we find a proper room for you." I avoided his eyes. I couldn't stand how they bored into me. He was the kind of person who never takes his eyes off you when you talk.  
  
"That's too kind of you, Ohtori-sama. But I-"  
  
"No, it's my job to make sure that the students are happy and comfortable here at school. I'll take care of it as soon as possible." he interrupted, never dropping his gaze. "I hope you don't mind sharing a room with another student until the problem is cleared up. . ." The tone of his voice sent more chills through me, and I know I must have visibly shuddered that time.  
  
"N-no, I don't mind. . ." I muttered, no longer really listening to what he said. I just wanted to get out, and fast. . .there was something sinister about him. I stood up shakily. "Are you feeling all right?" asked Tenjou- san with concern. "Here, the tea is ready. . ." called Himemiya, as she walked back carrying the tray back to the table. "Rankaku-san? Are you ill?"  
  
My mind began to freeze up and I stuttered the first excuse that came to my mind. "It's nothing. . . I just need. . .I need my medicine. . . Thank you. . .for everything. I must be going now." I made my way unsteadily to the door, bowed, and left the room without another word. 


	4. Chapter 4: Time :Miki:

Chapter 4: Time (Miki)  
  
The melody rippled like a wave, washing over me and cleansing my mind of all but the image the music created. This music was my hope, my dreams, the blood flowing in my veins. The same blood which I share with my twin. I wondered to myself how we could share so much and yet be so different. Somewhere along the line, we had split ways. . . Or rather, I kept going the same direction I always had, while she wandered off the road and decided to make her own path in the unknown. To this day, she hasn't told me why she made that decision.  
  
My fingers danced over the keys independently, as the thoughts of my sister persuaded them to play my. . . no, our most well-known piece. I closed my eyes and imagined the garden where Kozue and I used to play this song together. Kozue sat on my left, playing the harmony, and every once in a while a giggle would escape her lips as she struggled to put her foot down on the correct pedal. We had both started learning piano before our feet could even reach them.  
  
The warm yellow sun light up her smiling face, but hearing her music and laughter resonating in the garden, I had the feeling she would have shone just as brightly had there been no sun at all. We neared the end of the song, and I finished the piece with a flourish.  
  
A burst of clapping broke my reverie and I was back in the Ohtori music room. I turned my head and saw a lone girl applauding me from the doorway. "Hello, I'm Rankaku Robin. I hope you don't mind my listening to you, but that piece was brilliant." Her eyes dropped suddenly and I could have sworn I saw her shiver, even though it wasn't cold indoors.  
  
"Thank you very much, Rankaku-san. My name is Kaoru Miki. Would you like to come in? I don't mind having company when I play," I replied with a smile. I didn't recognize her; she had to be one of the new students this year. Her uniform was not the standard girls' uniform for Ohtori, but one of a duelist. . . She nodded in thanks and sat next to me on the piano bench. I began another song, a famous piece by Mozart.  
  
Her hands rested in her lap. I noticed with some surprise that she was not wearing a ring with the rose emblem. That was a relief. . . It must have just been coincidence. Only Student Council members like myself dressed that way, but maybe it was becoming popular these days.  
  
"I'm not exactly a piano connoisseur, but I'm not familiar with the song you were playing as I came in," she said. "Did you write it yourself?" I nodded. "My sister and I composed it together many years ago."  
  
"Wow, you and your sister must both be very talented. It takes a lot of skill to play an instrument the way you do. I can clearly hear your soul in your music," she replied. I blushed slightly. My soul? I didn't have the right touch to play like that anymore. My shining candle had been snuffed out a long time ago. I decided to change the subject. "Do you play any instruments, Rankaku-san?"  
  
She laughed, a light tinkling sound that sounded musical in itself. "Please, call me Robin. You're probably younger than me. . . but I don't really care for courtesies like calling people by their last names. . . It sounds so cold and distant. Well, I do play a little harmonica now and then, but I usually spare other people the annoyance of listening to me."  
  
I stopped playing abruptly and turned to look at her. "I'd love to hear you play, Rankaku-sa. . .I mean, Robin- There aren't many musicians in this school." It felt very odd to call somebody by only their first name.  
  
"Trust me, it's nothing worth hearing," she replied, turning her gaze to the ground again. This time I was sure, she was trembling. "Are you cold?" I asked her. "I think there's a blanket in the closet back there. . ." She shook her head, and fumbled for something in her trouser pocket. "I just forgot to take my pills," she replied, taking out the packet and popping two into her mouth. I didn't even have a chance to ask her if she needed a glass of water. . . "They're for my low blood-pressure," she added before I could question. "Nothing serious, I only need to take them three times a day." I nodded and resumed playing the piano.  
  
"I'm sorry to hear about that. It must be very bothersome to put up with." I noticed out of the corner of my eye that she was putting back two packages of medication instead only the one I had seen her take out. "What are the other pills for?" I wondered aloud.  
  
Robin looked up at me and blinked. "I changed my mind, would you like to hear me play a little harmonica?" she asked suddenly. "Sure!" I exclaimed happily. Her harmonica was kept in a small, old fashioned cardboard box. It must have been handed down to her from her grandparents, judging by the beautiful red and gold designs of the package. They just don't make things like they used to nowadays. She opened the box and took out the metal instrument, which was also fairly old, but kept in very good shape.  
  
She lifted the harmonica to her lips and began playing a light, jazzy tune, but after a few seconds she stopped. "I'm a little embarrassed to play in front of someone who's so much better than me. . ." she admitted reluctantly.  
  
"Please, don't stop! It's wonderful!" I pleaded. I meant it, too. She hesitated a moment, then continued to play. The song was bouncy and cheerful, and every once in a while she would add a little flourish to the notes. I could tell that she become more confident towards the end of the song. True, there were some mistakes and off-beats, but she really got into it and that was what made it so uplifting. When she finished I clapped just like she had for me earlier, making her blush prettily. "Now you're teasing me," she laughed, as she slipped the harmonica back into her pocket.  
  
I clicked my stopwatch. "Not at all, you have your own style. I really enjoyed it!" I replied sincerely. "You play very well for. . . wait a moment, I don't recall what grade you said you were in. . ." I mused, as I checked the time.  
  
"Oh, I forgot to tell you. I'm in the tenth grade." she replied. "Tenth grade??" I echoed incredulously. And the whole time I had thought she was my age!! "Well, I do look younger than I am, don't I?" she laughed, reading my mind.  
  
I blushed in embarrassment. "Rankaku-sempai. . .I'm sorry. . ." She shook her head. "No, don't call me that! Real friends aren't so polite." Her eyes sparkled when she said it.  
  
"W-well. . . Ok. . . Robin." I replied awkwardly. It suddenly struck me that she probably thought I was just a nerdy little boy. I clicked my stopwatch.  
  
Robin checked the time on her own watch that she kept on a chain in her breast pocket. "Lunch break is about half over, and I haven't eaten yet . . . Would you like to show me to the cafeteria?" she asked, standing up and walking to the door.  
  
I jumped up as if somebody had shoved a hot poker down my pants. "Ok! I haven't eaten yet either!" I lied, rushing over and opening the door for her. Gosh, now that I think about it, I really am a nerd. . . Tenth grade. Wow. 


	5. Chapter 5: True Intentions

Chapter 5: True Intentions  
  
Our footsteps' echoes were barely audible over the hullabaloo of the busy hall. I had walked through the entire school in the ungodly hours of the morning. It had not prepared me for this. For the first time, I witnessed the halls in the rush hour; there were herds of students congesting the halls on their way to either lunch or leaving to go outside. They called to each other and laughed loudly, all making a racket, all rushing to their destinations. To my left, to my right, behind, in front, everywhere!! The moving bodies were all around, closing in. . .suddenly I got the frightening sensation that my lungs were inwardly collapsing and I felt dizzy. My heart began to pound and I struggled to breathe in the suffocating, swirling blur of people. I thought briefly that I shouldn't have taken my full doses of medicines on an empty stomach. . .  
  
"Robin! Are you ok?" Miki's voice snapped me back to reality. The dizziness faded a bit. I felt enormously relieved as he gently took my hand and led me through the bustling crowd, to the outdoor dining area. When we stepped into the sunshine, he pulled a chair out for me at a nearby table. I was a bit embarrassed but very thankful all the same. "I'm very sorry about that Miki, I didn't mean to frighten you. I'm fine, really. . . I just get nervous around so many people," I muttered sheepishly. I reminded myself never again to take all my medicines at once. Although it took all my strength, I managed to sit straight and keep smiling. I felt very nauseous all of a sudden, but if I didn't eat something and dilute all that medicine it could well get worse.  
  
Not surprisingly, poor Miki was still concerned after my weak excuse, but for fear of him asking more questions, I asked if he would mind bringing the lunch to the table for us while I collected myself. Being the gentleman he was, he hurriedly agreed and rushed off to the cafeteria. After a moment of agonizing indecision, I seized the opportunity to take my strongest aspirin pill. I wasn't sure if they would make me feel sicker, or possibly violently ill in this condition, but the pains would be starting in about half an hour otherwise, since I had taken the last aspirin about 12 hours ago. I made a mental note of the time, so that I would remember to take the next aspirin that night.  
  
I looked around to see if there was anyone I recognized eating outside, but the faces were all unknown to me. I closed my eyes and to shield them from the bright sun. It was no good, even when I looked away the brightness reflected back at me from the bright white table, stinging my eyes, even though they were tightly shut. I covered my face and rubbed them irritably. 'Why is it so hard to feel comfortable?' I thought to myself. My wonderful dark clouds which had comforted me earlier had drifted off and uncovered the repulsive sun, and I felt like prune shriveling up underneath it. How exasperating.  
  
At last Miki arrived, closely followed by. . .I squinted from the combination of blindness from the light and incredibility. . .another Miki?? But as the two approached, I reprimanded myself for such foolish thinking. Of course it couldn't be another Miki. . . because the second Miki was wearing the girl's uniform. They arrived at the table and each set down a tray. "Thank you for helping me carry the trays, Kozue," said Miki. The girl smiled charmingly and pulled up a chair. Miki looked a bit irritated, as if he was hoping she would have left right away. She clucked at her brother in mock disapproval. "I don't believe your friend and I have been introduced."  
  
Miki sighed and seated himself across from me. "This is Rankaku-sa -. . .sorry, Robin- She's a 10th grade who just arrived in Ohtori. Robin, this is my twin sister, Kozue," he said.  
  
"Nice to meet you, Miss Rankaku." Kozue-san sat between Miki and me at the round white table, resting her chin in her hands. She an air of superiority about her that made me slightly uneasy. "Miki tells me you two have become pretty intimate already," she stated, with what might have been a touch of resentfulness in her voice. "Kozue. . .! " Miki started abruptly, but was interrupted by his twin. "Can't I even talk to your friends anymore? I'm shocked by you, Miki." she replied tartly. Miki blushed and absentmindedly poked his food with a fork, obviously at a loss for words, or perhaps unable to decide where to start. "Well, we only met this afternoon, but we've become fast friends. It was actually Miki's captivating music that led me to him," I replied shyly. Kozue-san's eyes narrowed and a sinister smile creeped across her lips. It was far from comforting. I wondered to myself if everyone at this school was acted so oddly, or if it was only the siblings.  
  
"Oh yes. . ." she replied, ". . .my brother certainly is one of many virtues." I remembered Akio saying something similar about his own sister. This connection didn't make me like Kozue any more than I already didn't. She leaned back slowly in her chair and modestly fiddled with her nails. "Unfortunately, as identical as people think we are at fist glance, our similarities end there. Miki and I are complete opposites." Miki seemed to be getting very disturbed by this point.  
  
"That's not true. Kozue could be as good, or yes, even better than me at everything I do, if she only cared. Somehow you lost your will, you gave up. . .I don't know what's happened to you, Kozue. . ." his voice cracked and for a moment I thought he might bust into tears. I was about to reach out and hold his hand to comfort him, but the shocking look of glee on his sister's face froze me where I was. "I never lost my will Miki." she whispered charmingly, gliding out of her chair and leaning to murmur in his ear, "I gained perception."  
  
She made a face of mock surprise. "Oh, I almost forgot." In an agile movement that was obviously meant to shock and probably repulse her brother, she pulled a well-concealed letter out the top of her blouse, and handed it to me. "A letter for you, Miss." With that, she sauntered off to meet her friends in a corner of the outside dining area, and walked off with the giggling group of girls. Needless to say, the rest of the meal continued with a rather unpleasant karma.  
  
If I had thought Miki had looked annoyed before, his reaction to the letter was positively distraught. "Kozue! That's. . . It can't be. . ." he stammered incredulously.  
  
I picked it up and turned it around to read the address, taking note of the familiar rose insignia printed on the seal, the same one I had seen on Miki's ring. "The End of the Word?" I wondered aloud. 


	6. Chapter 6: Encounter

Chapter 6: Encounter  
  
Miki had been shocked yet again when I read him the letter. What I had thought was a prank had turned out to be a note directing me to my new accommodation. I remembered the scent of the stationary from somewhere, but for the life of me I couldn't pinpoint it exactly. . .in any case, Miki recognized the address; it was in fact his mentor's room, and from the sound of it this wasn't a very companionable person. He was sure it had to be another mistake.  
  
He expressed his many regrets for not being able to escort me there personally after school (He was going to be busy tutoring seniors in Math) but I thanked him and insisted that I was quite all right on my own. And so, several hours and dreadfully stressful classes later. . .  
  
I dropped the handle to the rolling suitcase and checked the address on the letter again. Yes, it was this door. The nervousness in the pit of my stomach grew. I should have listened to Miki. . . there was a reason he was known as a child prodigy. What would I say if it really was t wrong door? Nevertheless, I had come this far, so I decided there was nothing to lose but try. I knocked my fingers softly on the wood.  
  
I waited a few seconds, but there was no sound from within. My shoulders slumped in both relief and disappointment. I turned to go back to the office, when suddenly. . .  
  
"Come in." called an icy woman's voice. My fingers shook slightly as I turned the knob and opened the door. I walked through the entryway, dragging my suitcase along, and into the main room. Sitting on a wine- colored leather loveseat across from me was a beautiful young woman with tangerine curls framing her pretty face. Well, it would have been much prettier if she hadn't been scowling at me like I was a disgusting turd standing in her marvelous Persian rug. And believe me, right then I certainly felt like dashing out as quickly as my feeble little legs could carry me.  
  
"Good afternoon." I chirped, bowing deeply. When I had straightened again, I noticed she was holding a letter in her slender fingers. On closer observation, I also noticed a very familiar ring on her right index. She looked at me coolly, drinking in my appearance, but not quite probing as the Administrator had. She was suspicious and agitated nonetheless. She stood up and folded her arms crossly, still holding the paper.  
  
"What impeccable timing you have." she stated. "I received this. . . notification. . .only 5 minutes ago. I take it you've also got one?" The tone was not one of a question. What she was really asking was, 'Please show me the proof that you did not just randomly bust into my room like the filthy scum you are.' I was feeling increasingly doubtful about the possibility of living here by the second. I fished the letter from my coat pocket and handed it to her, feeling more like an alien trying to get through a high security airport. Her sparkling green eyes scanned the paper. I took a sudden interest in my shoe, searching my mind for something to break the silence. "My new friend Miki. . . he says he knows you. . .he thought it was a mistake. . ." The jaded pair of eyes suddenly were focused on me again. "Miki? Kaworu Miki?" I nodded and made another attempt at a smile.  
  
She crumpled the papers into one ball with her hand and tossed them into a bin nearby. I was a little shocked at her sudden un-businesslike attitude. "If the End of the World says you will board here, then I'm afraid I can't go against their wishes." she growled. "Of course, that doesn't mean you may do as you like. As far as you're concerned, you're an unwanted guest. And you will have to abide by my rules, until we, that is the Council, takes this matter into our hands." When she looked back at me, her gaze softened a little. I must have been showing a little too much of my disappointment on my face. "I'm sorry, but I'm not used to compromising my privacy." she responded huffily.  
  
"I'm Juri Arisugawa, 10th grade. Captain of the fencing team and treasurer of the Student Council. We. . .the Council and I. . .will find you a more suitable place to board. Until then, I have no choice but to abide by the End of the World's instructions." I introduced myself, and she seemed surprised to learn I was in her grade. I mentioned that she was the second girl (other than myself) who was not wearing a standard girl's uniform. "It's Student Council attire. We all adopted it when we were assigned our positions. Speaking of which. . ." she checked the clock on the wall, ". . .I have a meeting to get to. I don't often cook at home, so if you stay here you'll have to fix something for yourself. I'm going out tonight. You have all your things with you, I presume?" I nodded. "Good. Tonight you'll sleep on the floor in here." She said this as a parent would to a small child. I almost expected her to say there was some spam, or perhaps dog food in the cupboard that I could help myself to.  
  
". . . Did I say something funny?" she asked icily. I wiped the grin off my face quickly. "No, I'm sorry, I was just thinking how much I owe you for this huge favor. I don't know how to thank you." For the first time, she actually returned my smile as she walked past me to the door. "I'm sure we'll think of something . . . Good bye."  
  
The door clicked shut, and I was left standing alone in the room. I was about to pick up my bag and start unpacking, when suddenly I heard the lock click and the door opened again. Arisugawa-san's shadowed face peered at me suspiciously.  
  
"One last thing. Don't snoop around or make a mess my apartment, or you might not live to see the morning. Is that understood?"  
  
I nodded nervously. "H-hai. You won't even notice me." Her eyes narrowed. "Good. See you tonight then." The face disappeared and the lock clicked again. I sighed and unzipped my suitcase. I took out the important things: medications, aspirin, bandages, lighter, and my red towel. I really needed a shower. 


	7. Chapter 7: Jigsaw

Chapter 7 : Jigsaw  
  
The golden mantelpiece clock chimed twenty-three hours. The front door creaked slightly as a dark figure stepped into the apartment. Robin shut the door as silently as she could, pausing to listen for a sound. There was nothing, save the mournful mew of a cat outside the open window. The girl stepped carefully around the coffee table , but suddenly Robin yelped in surprise as she nearly tripped over a bulky case next to what she would come to know as the "Bowling Closet." The case tipped over and the large heavy ball started to roll towards Juri's room. Robin scrambled after it and managed to catch it before it went into the short hall. She sighed in relief, she had been afraid of waking up her host. After putting the ball back in its rightful place (she had to roll it on the ground, it was too heavy for her to lift), Robin tiptoed to her sleeping mat which she had rolled out in Juri's living room. She stood silently, listening again for any sounds. Finally convinced that the coast was clear, she reached up to her collar to unbutton her uniform, when. . .a sudden rustle made her freeze.  
  
Two green, cat-like glowing eyes stared at her from the hallway to the bedroom. Robin gave a small gasp of shock as her eyes adjusted to the light. Her fingers twitched nervously. "A-Arisugawa-s-sama. . ." she squeaked. "You scared the life out of me. . ."  
  
"Tell me, do you always sneak in and out in the middle of the night, or do you only do it when you invade the homes of others?" asked Juri coldy, leaning against the wall in her evening gown.  
  
Robin bowed her head meekly. "I'm sorry. . .it's just. . .I couldn't sleep and went to take a short walk. . ." the look she got from the other woman silenced her quickly. She wrung her hands and stared at the ground. "Forgive me for waking you, I won't do it again." she added quickly, suppressing the shivers running up her spine.  
  
"Let us hope that by this time tomorrow you will have been moved to more suitable lodgings. But no need to apologize for waking me, you're not the only one who couldn't sleep tonight." Juri produced a bulging black object from behind her back. Robin shuddered even more visibly as Juri held up the small plastic garbage bag. "However, there is one more thing I'm curious about. When I got home, you were gone. . .I smelled something burning, and all the windows were open. And this. . ." she dropped the bag onto the carpet, ". . .was filled with ashes. " After a few moments passed and Robin didn't look up or make any sign of replying, Juri pressed her again. "Would you mind explaining it?"  
  
Robin stumbled onto the loveseat near her mat. She lay crumpled there, shaking uncontrollably. The elegant fencer made no move towards her, but continued to glare from the hall. "Are you that cold? Maybe you could try wearing warmer clothes rather than starting fires in my apartment." Robin was breathing hard and still shivering harder than ever. Her right fist was clenched tightly at the cloth around her collar. Juri finally started to look worried. "Are you sick?" she asked tentatively, taking a step out of the darkness, and momentarily forgetting about the ash-filled bag.  
  
"Y-yes, I am. . .slight fever, I'm. . .often ill. . ." Robin managed to croak. "I just need. . .my aspirin..". She hastily reached into her pocket and produced a packet of pills, which she promptly swallowed. "You mustn't worry about me, A-Arisugawa-s-sama. . .I can take care of myself." she muttered weakly in protest as Juri felt her forehead with her palm. "You feel very cold for somebody with a fever." replied Juri. ". . .and are you sure it's healthy to take so much medication at once?" she added, watching Robin quickly replace the now empty package into her pocket. Robin winced at her touch as if it burned and shrank away, trembling. Juri looked at her with an air of mixed concern and mild curiosity.  
  
"Just to be safe you'd better not take any more of that aspirin for a while. . .I won't be help responsible if you poison yourself. Try to get some rest. . .There's a party next week for one of the members of the Student Council. If you want to come, you'll need to get better before then. Good night." she said, making towards her room. She stopped as she saw the plastic bag in the hall, hesitating. With a sigh she picked it up and tossed into the kitchen trash, then walked to her bedroom. "She'd better not be contagious, or I swear I'll kill that goddamn 'End of the World'! . . .What am I saying, they already deserve it. . ." she muttered to herself as she shut the door.  
  
As the tremors calmed down, Robin decided she felt too weak to change. Besides, she would have to wake up very early to dress again before Arisugawa-sama woke up, and she wasn't sure when that would be. It was enough of a close call with her host finding the ashes, she would have to find another way to dispose of them. Hopefully, Arisugawa-sama wouldn't bring it up again. 'Not probable. . . ' she thought in exasperation. At least she had managed to weasel her way out of an explanation this time, but she wouldn't be able to get away with it so easily again. Robin hoped she could be moved to her own room soon. She and her host both seemed to have a desperate need for privacy. . . And what was this sudden change of subject to the invitation about? It didn't seem quite like her host to suddenly be so friendly. 'Arisugawa-sama realized it was something I couldn't talk about. She doesn't even know about me, and she pities me already.' thought Robin glumly. She crawled off the leather loveseat and slumped onto her little cot on the floor, head reeling and mind buzzing. 


	8. Chapter 8: Confrontation

Chapter 8: Confrontation  
  
I walked slowly to the dorm after my last period. I wasn't exactly looking forward to spending another evening in Arisugawa-sama's apartment. Luckily for me, the every night of the last three days she had been out until around 7:30 pm, when she took her ritual shower, put on her evening dress , and walked to the gardens to sit by the fountains, where she sometimes stayed until past ten. I had begun making a mental note of all her regular activities, so that I could time mine appropriately when she wasn't home. I still hadn't found out (not had the courage to ask) what she did after school until 7:30, but I figured it must have had something to do with her Student Council duties.  
  
But as I was saying. . .I was walking as slowly as possible back to the dorm, when an angry voice broke into my thoughts. "Don't you have anything to say, bitch?!" I turned my head to the left just in time to see the slap. Himemiya Anthy cringed and dropped the full watering can she had been carrying. "It's your fault that Miki isn't competing in the piano concert!" growled one of the three girls surrounding her. A light tap on her shoulder caused her to spin around. "Whaa...!?" she yelped in surprise. "Er..." I stammered. "Er...Please stop that. It's just not nice."  
  
The three girls gawked at me for a moment, before I felt a sharp sting across my cheek that sent my glasses flying off onto the ground. I rubbed my cheek where the apparent leader , a girl with two ponytails on either side of her head, had stuck me. "Stay out of this! It doesn't concern you." she snarled. I tried to look her in the eyes as best as I could with my newly blurred vision. "I beg to differ, Miss, but when my friends are being attacked I think it does concern me." I answered, somehow keeping my voice from trembling.  
  
The girls laughed loudly at this. I noticed the dark fuzzy blob that was Himemiya hadn't spoken or moved at all since I interrupted. "Himemiya has FRIENDS!? Who would have guessed??" cried one of the girls, laughing hysterically.  
  
"What's all this commotion about?" asked a familiar cold voice. Everyone, even the three bullies, froze. Arisugawa-san stalked over to me, and I felt her press something wiry and metal into my hand. I accepted my glasses gratefully and put them back on, noting with dismay that the left lens now had a large vertical crack. "A-A-Arisugawa-sempai! It's not what it looks like!" stammered the girl with curled black hair. "We're very sorry!" squeaked the other. "Goodbye!" called the leader, as they dashed away as fast as their skinny legs could carry them. Arisugawa-san glared at them them coldy as they scurried off, then turned back to Himemiya-san and I. "Nanami's behind this nonsense, I'm sure." she remarked scathingly. "I'll be sure to speak with her today. But why...?"  
  
Anthy got up, adjusted her glasses, dusted herself off, then began filling her water can again as if nothing had happened. "Himemiya-san...are you all right?" I asked tentatively. She turned around with the same smile she always had. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you." The shock must have registered on my face, because she continued. "...It's ok, I'm used to it." The water can filled to the top. "I'm sorry, but I have to go water the roses now. Goodbye, Rankaku-san, Arisugawa-san." And with that, she left for the birdcage-like greenhouse across the yard.  
  
"What about you, Rankaku?" asked Arisugawa-san, startling me. "Are you hurt?" I shook my head. "No...I'm fine. Fortunately, I was going to get new glasses this week anyway." I replied. "You're going back the dorm now, right?" she asked. "We'll go together." I felt as if a large boulder had just dropped into the pit of my stomach. So she was coming home early today after all... and I had been looking forward to having the dorm to myself... "All right." I agreed half-heatedly, following her.  
  
Suddenly I remembered something important. "The girls said something about Miki... they said it was Himemiya-san's fault he wasn't going to a piano competition." "Did they?" asked the red-haired girl, giving me a critical look. "He told me he had too much homework to do. He's not coming to the next fencing match either." I perked up. "Miki fences? He's even more talented than I thought! Wow...!" Arisugawa-san's eyes narrowed. "Do you like fencing?" she asked. I nodded eagerly. "Yes, fencing is such an elegant sport. I greatly respect anyone with the stamina and dexterity to do it."  
  
She closed her eyes and smirked, brushing a few strands of curly tangerine curls from her face. "You happen to be speaking to the fencing team captain." Her eyebrows raised at the wide-eyed look I gave her. "What, do I look that un-athletic? You insult me, Miss Rankaku."  
  
I put my hands up in defense. "No, it's not that! It just took my by surprise, that's all." I walked behind her the rest of the way in awkward silence. So, that was where she had been going nearly every day after school.  
  
"You and Miki are good friends, aren't you?" I asked her, as she unlocked the door to the dorm and walked in. Arisugawa-sama walked into the dorm's kitchenette and started preparing coffee. "Maybe. Why do you ask?" she rebounded, holding up a second cup in an a silent question. I shook my head, I didn't care much for caffeinated foods. "Well... you seem very different." I fidgeted and watched her from the safety of the entrance. She seemed to be in a fairly good mood, but in the last week I had learned not to judge my host so easily. Her mood tended to swing drastically in a matter of milliseconds.  
  
She poured the boiling water into the coffee machine and turned to face me, holding the steaming pot in her slender hands. "That's precisely why it works. I can't stand cold, jaded people." she replied, with a touch of sarcasm. "Miki is very innocent and naive... those are the traits that endear him to me most." she continued as she waited for the grounds to give off their flavor. "I want to savor it while I can...People like him are so very rare nowadays. It will likely leave him too, in time."  
  
I nodded sadly. "It's something most people lose with age."  
  
Juri continued as if she didn't hear me. "Sometimes I want so badly to believe in the goodness of people; I make myself see it in them, even when it's not there..." Her eyes flashed darkly with those last few words. I tensed up and readied myself for an explosion.  
  
Arisugawa-san looked up as if suddenly realizing I was still there.  
  
"...But if you think you'll get on my good side by acting cute and helpless, you're badly mistaken!" she growled, as she snatched her cup of coffee and shut herself up in her room. I blinked at her closed door for a few seconds. "Hormones...!" I muttered wearily. 


	9. Chapter 9: Shattered Soul

Chapter 9: Shattered Soul (Juri)  
  
I slammed the door to my room and leant against it heavily, reaching my fingers out to brush a few stray strands of hair from my face. My anger and frustration had finally exploded. Subconsciously I began to undress to take a long, hot shower. 'I can't stand this. Any of this.' I thought furiously. I had known from the beginning it was a bad idea to accept her in. . .but only a fool would challenge the decisions of the End of the World. . . .Right?  
  
How was I to know? In accepting my position on Student Council, from the moment I opened the letter containing my ring, I had signed an unwritten pact with this mysterious person who claimed I could achieve the power of miracles. I was enraged, of course. . . Anger is my instinctive reaction to a lot of things now. I accepted only because I wanted to crush this power, or whoever claimed to have it. Innocent minds should no longer be disillusioned and embittered by such lies.  
  
So I traded in my carefree schoolgirls' uniform for more authoritarian attire. I curled my hair into tight ringlets and became cold and distant to all but the closest to me. I closed my heart to feelings love. . .or tried to. Not even after this transformation could I protect myself from the hope that had torn at my heart for years. For although my outward image became that of the invincible, beautiful panther, inside I was crippled beyond repair. . .  
  
I slipped into the shower room adjacent to mine, dressed in nothing but the irremovable chain, and turned the water on as hot as it could go. The heat seemed to melt my icy disposition down to the core, and suddenly I felt like busting into tears. . .  
  
Nobody could understand what it was like to put on a mask every day, pretending as if I was unbreakable when in reality I was shattered. It would have been different if she had found out and told me she hated me. It would have been different if I had gotten a straight answer. But I never told her before she left, and now all I had left were a few tattered memories, and endless sea of confusion and guilt, and the crippling hope chaining me down.  
  
My skin burned red in protest to the onslaught of steaming water, so at last I was forced to turn it off. 


End file.
